Hopeless Romantic

i know that i've done several blogs about love and life and other things like that, but it's not all that i think about. you readers are probably thinking that "wow, this person is a hopeless romantic. she needs to get a life." you have the hopeless romantic part right. if you were thinking the other half of the quote, then, you're mean. i don't need to get a life, i already have one. so there!
okay, i will admit that i write about love a lot, but it doesn't mean that i'm love obsessed. it's okay for people to be hopeless romantics, and get sort of carried away every now and then. so don't you be criticizing my rants, you've probably done it some time in your life or will have a moment like mine some time in your life.
getting to the point now, the person who i really like has currently broken up with her girlfriend, and i really want to ask her out again. but here's the thing, i don't want to be to forward, and i've asked her out once before, went out for 4+ months, then she broke up with me because she liked someone else. i want her to be happy, even if it's without me as her lover. i just don't know what to do. i currently want someone who's more than a friend who i can lean on right now. there are a couple guys who i like, a couple girls who are straight, (darn it all), but i want my ex girlfriend the most. is that bad? is that to much to ask for? i do want her to be happy, but i also want her.
one thing that made me really mad last week was that one of my guy friends told me that my ex was going to breakup with her girlfriend on wednesday. he also said, after i mentioned that i might want to ask her out again, that she likes some guy at our school. i was sort of dumbfounded, but there you go. he then said that he was planning on asking her to prom and that he was going over to her house after school that day. (let's just say that he's had a lot of girlfriends, and has f*cked several of them both voluntarily, and against their will. (he told last year that he's been used, and has been a user)). so i got really jealous, and i snapped at him. "if you hurt her in any way, i will kill you." after that, we gave each other the silent treatment for most of the day.
see what love can do to people? it can make you protective, suspicious, crazy(er), lonesome, yearning, and list can go on and on. (sorry, that was just part of the bad list. there is a good list in which none of those feelings i've been feeling currently). (not all of that last sentence there was true just FYI). sorry guys for putting this awful burden on you, but i haven't talked with anyone about this, and i won't be able to talk with anyone that i want to about this until tomorrow. plus there are a couple friends of mine who have blogs who i would like to have read this and comment on, but i don't really feel like talking with them about it.